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[08 Mar 2006|08:34pm] |
rehab
or not
it's all up to me
i'll miss my jon, best friend and other friends
the only reason i'd do it is not for myself
i feel that it would do nothing but take me away from my life
fuck that
EDIT
i miss my best friend, she's such a good person.
I'm seeing her friday, her birthday, no matter what.
I SWEAR KIMM BRAND
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(4 painted the walls with my brains  hold a gun to my head)
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[28 Feb 2006|09:12am] |
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mood |
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 fuck the police |
] |
the cops found jon and jared in the back of the jeep yesterday morning. as for me and zack, we were in walmart and came out to see the events. we tried to get away. we thought better. five cop cars came. we left in cop cars.
zack and i had a job at ron jons and jon and jared had a job at ihop if we had been able to go.
the previous night we were found by a cop, he took the license number, jon's info and half of zack's when he got an emergency call. I don't see how we could have been so lucky.
being a missing person for a week with your love is close to the best adventure ever.
for once we had made a happy little family and we were starting to make it.
i'm really scared for jon, his parents are being hard on him. hard is an understatement.
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(12 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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[20 Feb 2006|10:16am] |
| [ |
music |
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Rock Me Amadeus - Falco |
] |
Moriah called me two days ago asking if I'd like to go running with her the following day. I was a bit hesitant but I accepted in hopes of clarity, a long lost friendship finally starting to bond, anything. The feelings flowing through me were surprisingly excitement along with a few scattered fears. 7:30 AM was the time which soon turned to 12 PM. Quarter past flew by with no phone call and no answer from that side. Half past, more and more.
I gave up.
Not sure if I give up yet.
so happy Kimm's such a great friend.
so happy Jonathan's my boo.
That really hurt.
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(5 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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[16 Feb 2006|05:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mouth numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
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...we shouted them like anthems... |
] |
Jonathan♥Charles
Prom soon
Summer 3 months
4 day weekend--fry my brain
i'd love some naughty salt
i'm a nicer person as a result
maybe i'll get some tonight
I really don't like limited people
I do like Kimm and Jon
I think if I were to go about OCing with Moriah I'd have to have a great amount of blow
...maybe
I don't quite know what to think of her these days
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(6 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 026 |
[11 Dec 2005|04:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 X-mas!! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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christmas tuneage on the tube |
] |
So I'm pretty sure I'm going to send out christmas cards and stoof
and cookies for those who are fortunate enough to go to my school
Gimme yo address if you dig
or just be like HEY SAM, COOKIE!
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(6 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 025 |
[27 Nov 2005|11:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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...high on speed I hear you call... |
] |
TOP 8
1. Jon
2. Kimm
3. Desi
4. Jello
5. Ally
6. SamNotFox
7. Moriah
8. Ana
Is number 2 your best friend?
I would say yes if we hung out more. I definitely consider her one of my two favorite girl friends.
Are you in love with number 8?
Love but not in love
Have you lied to number 4?
not at all
Do you know a secret about number 7?
many
Describe the relationship between number 8 and number 5.
friends, not BEST, but they talk. Ana tends to talk to 42985793487 people.
Whats the best thing about number 1?
everything,
but cliche answers aren't meant for this.
What is the worst thing about number 6?
bitchiemcsarcastic love ♥
When was the last time you saw number 5?
friday?
Describe the relationship between number 1 and number 6?
6 hates 1. 1 is good friends with 6's bee eff. 1 doesn't really care about the relationship between 1 and 6.
Have you ever danced with number 3?
drunken nights and acid trips. ♥
How long have you known number 1?
since acid trip & forever.
Have number 2 and number 7 ever dated?
I'm pretty sure 7 wouldn't like 2.
Have you ever done drugs with number 1?
why yes, yes I have.
Have you ever been in a fight with number 5?
yes, and I still have my jaw snap out of place.
very good times.
Do number 4 and number 2 like each other?
they don't know of each others existence
Does number 8 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
yes, the world.
Have you ever been a coworker with number 7?
no
Have you ever punched number 5?
yes, quite hard in fact. She punched me back. then we laughed and repeated.
Has number 1 ever met your mother?
yes and they love each other.
Have you ever been on vacation with number 2?
if you consider opium-fest '05 a vacation then yes.
Has number 5 ever seen you naked?
yessss
Did you ever accidently physically hurt number 3?
haha noooo
How long have you known number 2?
since that incredible night at WPV when my drug addict friends who were very much on drugs started talking to her and matt about myspace. myspace topics bore quite the friendship.
How did you meet number 8?
bathroom of thelement 3 years ago when lydia was her friend.
How often do you party with number 2?
less than we should, but when we do it is pretty much the best party ever.
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(2 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 024 |
[25 Nov 2005|04:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"...hello sunshine, come into my life..." |
] |
I don't see why some let others treat them like shit then forgive them.
Stop it with your nostalgic portrayal of life.
I'm sorry for getting involved, but I couldn't take you being like you are anymore
this is what I said to him:
"if you hurt Moriah further than you have by not coming back I will personally kick your ass. pardon my french in the previous statement.
she's quite distraught, if you could just call her and talk about water on mars or something of that sort things would be a lot calmer in the Orlando area.
and why is it that you'd act as if things were the same days after you told her you wanted a "break"? I really hope your words are honest."
I ment it to be sternly comical, please don't be too upset.
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(4 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 023 |
[20 Nov 2005|10:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 idk |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Elf Power |
] |
jkhgfghhyadjsfdaghldrgoiuj;dflgknmclkghufoiesgjklfdamgndklfjioeawjfklsdmflksjgvoirwnjgpfoqwiew[0oqire90328509ewjgklxcjngvoidf
that's pretty much how I feel right now.
except for this great amount of happiness with Jon.
Desi is pretty much the closest thing I have to a best friend (aside from Jon) in this moment. I think I'll call her today.
Yesterday was amazing, though it ended in quite the quarrel.
Harry Potter is worth the 3 hours of your life.
Millenia mall with Shea, Mikaela(sp???), and Jon of course! I still can't believe I hung out with Shea after all these months.
Left before 8 to pick up Joseph for Priscilla's party thing which Jon and I couldn't go to because... well... no $$. So we just got McDonalds and got a cake for her.
I'll post pictures later, Jon's jeep stole my camera.
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(6 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 020 |
[05 Nov 2005|04:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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death cab |
] |
dated: 12/17/04
i've been walking through this home of mine, that is, what i used to call home. walking through as if i was a drifter, an outcast. the rain fell so peacefully, the tiny droplets of what used to be apart of something greater; for some reason i thought of snow, the kind that stays on your eyelashes so you can't see clearly. there was a boy; around 6 i'm guessing. this boy had a jumprope made from one of daddy's old projects, the kind that is white so it shows the dirt. he was just standing there flogging the ground with this jump rope of his and he looked at me as i passed. he stoped beating the rope at the brick road for a moment and i thought to myself "i hope he's looking, i hope he is thinking of what it must be like to be out of his immature childhood,"
So on i was through the adventure i was bound to seek eventually, well actually i was only hoping to find the place by the lake where along with a couple others used to smoke our cigarettes. of course to my luck i found the old park of the neighborhood along with the spot by the lake... completely flooded. "sigh," i thought, "off i must go then," and the thoughts continued. everywhere it seemed i had a story to go along with the places i'd pass. the place where i got my first bee sting, the place where garland cut open her foot, the place the neighborhood kids imagioned to be haunted but were too scared to walk in the backyard. now, these places, they are flooded, demolished, anything to the sort of distruction. it was sad really, all those locations ruined for the future generations. on i was to the bakery to get my daily coffee, black of course, that's the way i like it. i spotted an old friend of mine and thought it best not to stay and chat. eventually i came to a place so ordinary yet it spoke to me. that is where i've been recently. i called up an old friend and he came to comfort me. i thought about the times we had and it brought tears to my eyes. "what," he'd ask, "what's wrong? i'm here for you," if only he would understand...
And again i was off after school, on to continue my quest to find something, though i'm not sure what. i stoped by the bakery, got my coffee, but i only stayed for a minute at the place i had found the previous day. "I wonder what has become of the dock," i thought. and though i was afraid to find what would be there, i left. children all around me, screaming, crying, the guardian of them all playing football with the boys. i crawled through the fence that was conveniently bent down from the rebels at the high school who are too cool to go to class. i found the trail to the dock and i sat down, coffee and doughnuts in hand. i looked around. this is what has become of the place where we would spend those long summer days fishing and smoking? the trees had been either cut down or fallen by the recent hurricanes. there was no other place where the pot heads would smoke their marijuana. the trees had fallen in and the fence no longer hid the places. i rememberd a time back there, i remembered so much. some children called out to me. "oooh drinking my drink by the pond!!" i just looked at them and they responded to my glance with a "there are boyssss over there! oooh she's looking!!! she's fineeee!!!" i just chuckled and thought how immature those kids were.
My coffee had grown cold so i poured the remainders into the lake and stood up, took another glance, and walked off. of course the children had to comment on my sudden movement as they had commented on every movement i'd made previously. "heyy do you go to the highschool? i'm sorry we act retarded sometimes!!" i just looked at them and asked how old thery were; 10 they said. i just walked off not wanting to have them as a muse anymore.
I felt like sharing that with you all.
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(4 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 019 |
[24 Oct 2005|09:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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POed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Cursive - A Gentleman Caller |
] |
So I stayed up pretty late to welcome this wonderful Wilma hurricane into my life and sit outside and get sucked away... with Mary Jane.
Not only was she late by a few hours and I didn't get to experience her greatest hour, but she caused Mary Jane to be evaporated away into the atmosphere, completely wasted and unappreciated.
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(2 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 018 |
[23 Oct 2005|11:03am] |
| [ |
music |
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Postal Service |
] |
I'm pretty excited for this hurricane coming tonight/tomorrow.
sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've had little inspiration yet great need.
...the inspiration isn't there yet.
OH who wants to go to Death Cab with me? I have an extra ticket... all you'd have to do is pay for it and get us a ride back.
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(6 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 017 |
[08 Oct 2005|02:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 HOMECOMING!!! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ashlee simpson rawks |
] |
So things decided to work out great. Chris' mom was like hey I got you a personal chauffeur so he'll take you wherever whenever. So yea, that's pretty sweet. I'm getting my mom to do the last touches on my dress which is what she's doing now. Hopefully it won't be close to being done 5 minutes before I leave like last year. I didn't even finish, ew. I ran into Hannah Darden while I was looking for a hair clippie thing. She's going to homecoming also and was looking for a hair clippie thing too. Yea, not important. I'll bring my camera and post a billion pictures. this will be funnnnnnnnn! (hopefully) watch everything not go according to plan and it ends up sucking a lot a lot. oh well, me and chris are sushing at like 5.
( pictures from last year )
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(18 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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| 016 |
[05 Oct 2005|07:08pm] |
So this whole me and Chris getting a decent ride to homecoming isn't going so well. If worst comes to worst, he'll drive and we'll leave early. ew. He came up with the idea to take a taxi. not bad but still ew.
anyone want to hook a brotha up?
fuck this, i'll post later
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(3 painted the walls with my brains hold a gun to my head)
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